This is a statement for the members
of our group "Remember who you are“
in the meditation app "Insight Timer“:
we are looking forward to continuing sharing our daily quote with you all.
But this break, the digital detox, was fundamental for us to reconnect with ourselves and reflect on things that feel out of balance in our daily life.
This introspection showed us that we cannot and don’t want to continue with this group like before, we have to change something in order to feel comfortable and safe with it.
Surely some of you have noticed that about two months ago we changed the group description into:
"One daily quote. No clutter, no spiritual bypassing.“
We did this because the group has become so big with more than 40.000 members and of course we are happy that it is so popular, but the last months it has become more and more difficult to keep this virtual space safe, profound and authentic.
We created this group about two years ago to offer inspiration and support via one daily quote for everyone who resonates and who is also on the challenging and stunning healing journey of facing his/her true feelings. Our message is that you can heal EVERYTHING by doing this inner and outer work.
Everyone who reads our group information on Insight Timer should understand that this is our only intention. It comes from the heart and is meant as a gift, not as a provocation, even if the themes and truths are not always just soothing and comfortable, but often also unconventional and thought-provoking.
We think there are enough toxic, superficial and smoothened messages out there in this sick society about how we should feel, act, fit in and conform to live a “normal“ pseudo-secure and boring life.
Human life is full of polarity, and there are not only "unicorn farts and pixie dust,“ but also really dark and terrible elements of this existence and this fact shouldn’t be repressed and dissociated any longer. It’s time to wake up and heal - for every single one of us.
We don’t have and never had any interest in discussing whether the selected quote is "correct" or not, or if every single word that the particular author uses is “appropriate", especially not with spiritual bypassers or religious fanatics. Unfortunately, in the Insight Timer App there are more than some of them, and sometimes they join our group, not despite but because they feel very provoked by our quotes and don’t even take the time to read the description and our intention, but immediately start to write bullying comments to spread their bullshit. So again and again and again we have to react to such comments or the only other alternative is to delete the comments and ban these members from the group.
We had several terrible experiences with haters and stalkers in the last months, who didn’t stop terrorizing us via our website after deleting their disrespectful comments.
The most insane and exhausting case was during the last Christmas holidays, and just last week we had another stalker.
That’s why we decided to take this break so spontaneously and to use our holiday as a digital detox. It just wasn‘t funny anymore.
But we would never change the kind of quotes that we choose only to avoid conflict. They represent the insights and truths that we have learned during our psychological and therapeutic studies but mainly during the healing process of our own childhood traumas, especially of the ritual abuse that Alex suffered from when he was ten years old.
When you are faced with such a darkness, with the lowest possible level of humanity, when your whole life builds around the revelation of terrible lies and the remembering of what really happened and who you really are, when you have to cut the contact to your own toxic parents, and let everyone go, who doesn‘t allow you at all to be authentic and vulnerable while you go through this fire, then you really have no interest to be 24 hours a day online available for everyone without any filter or protection and being forced to read their toxic messages.
The group has simply grown too much to be able to handle this easily and on the side like in the beginning.
It feels like everyone is around the clock allowed to come into your virtual living room to just leave you a pile of shit in the middle of the room by writing a disrespectful comment full of platitudes, judgment, intolerance and shaming us or others in the group who show up, speak their truth and allow their vulnerability.
When someone writes for example a comment about the horrible sexual abuse by her father and speaks so openly about it maybe for the first time, we would never allow anyone to shame this member by trying to convince her with a comment that she should forgive her father no matter what he did, because he "gave his best at his level of consciousness“ and “we are all one“ and “she shouldn’t be angry."
Such messages of spiritual bypassing are so damaging and destructive especially for people who just started on their healing journey of allowing the truth.
There is another phenomenon that really troubled our love of truth and authenticity: passive aggression.
Sometimes someone who never "likes“ any of our quotes, that means who never presses the "heart button,“ writes a comment which sounds quite unclear, confusing and disrespectful but not outright, so we are not sure what is really meant. So we don’t know how to react and take a look in the activity of the member to see what he maybe writes in other groups: the exact opposite of what our quote says and what our group stands for!
These are moments when we really think: „What the fuck is this person doing in our group - other than spreading passive aggression and poisoning the atmosphere?"
Especially when we post something about the general idealization of parents, the truth about childhood traumas, the importance of allowing ALL feelings, the reaction of people who don’t want to face their painful feelings can be insane and really toxic.
We don’t want this anymore.
To give you a little personal impression about us: we have a busy job where we meet lots of different people, but our private life is quite secluded and calm. We live in a wooden house in the middle of a forest, and we love daily meditation, long walks in nature, coziness, music and dance, yoga, healthy organic food, authentic connections, our wonderful cat Yogi, we both drink no alcohol, take no kind of drugs or medication, spend a lot of time with simply allowing our true feelings, laughing and crying, reading inspiring books, watch only documentaries and funny or profound series, use no kind of social media and are very happy to live like this.
Our life hasn’t always been so healthy and focused, but it’s the natural result of our fucking hard and challenging healing process. We were forced to let go of everything toxic that didn't serve our healing because otherwise, we wouldn’t have been able to go through this.
But of course, we are also still on our journey and need a lot of time and energy for this process.
In this one week of digital detox from our smartphones, we realized that we miss the freedom to withdraw from time to time from the virtual world, at least when it’s about having to read and react to comments 24 hours a day.
Insight Timer is a meditation app, and it‘s great that besides the Timer and all these inspiring and helpful meditations, it allows like-minded people from all over the world to connect and support each other, but it shouldn’t be full of the clutter, conflict, envy, comparative and distractive elements of trivial social media.
When Alex told the truth about the ritual abuse in a comment some months ago, most of you gave us the feedback that they nearly never read the comments, but only the daily quote, because it is too much clutter for them, and they enjoy the simplicity of just pondering over this one daily message and let the words unfold without distraction.
So this is what we have decided to change during our break: we will keep the comment function closed because this app doesn’t seem to be the right place to hold such a space open and safe. But we will continue posting the daily quote in the App absolutely reliable like we did the last two years.
And as a more balanced and safe alternative to the comment function of the app we have created a section here on our website: "Daily Quote,“ where we not only post the daily quote but also pictures and sometimes inspiring recommendations or videos that you can then watch right there, without having to copy and paste a link like in the app.
We want to thank everyone who didn’t take our offer for granted and who used the comment function in the app in a constructive way and contributed to a positive and often very loving and nourishing group feeling which we loved and we would be happy to meet you here on our website.
We have absolutely no commercial interest in all that we share, so everything is for free.
We also realized that the intense attachment to our smartphone that was necessary because of the comment function to keep the group a safe space, sucked way too much of our time and energy, which we prefer to put into other creative projects now, like continuing writing our own texts and a book, recording some meditations and so on.
But we stay connected with you via the daily quote and for everyone who wishes more contact also via the website.
Thank you all for your loyalty and your commitment to creating a supportive and authentic community.
We trust that everything happens for a reason and that the journey continues in a healthier, better and more peaceful way…
Much love from us both
Verena & Alex