Run from what's comfortable.
Live where you fear to live.
Destroy your reputation.
I have tried prudent planning
From now on I'll be mad.
How to become free?
Start to treat yourself
with loving kindness.
Love yourself like
you fucking mean it.
You are Love manifested in flesh.
A Soul navigating through the physical dimension.
Many have forgotten who they are because
we were all forced to play by the rules of
the limited third-dimensional reality.
The yearning for freedom that we feel inside,
is the yearning home to our Soul Essence.
The part of us that is free from all the
programming, beliefs, rules and expectations
forced upon us by society, parents,
religion, schools, media, etc.
Now is the time to awaken to the truth of
who you really are! Create your own rules!
Dare to be who you are born to be!
The ugliest thing that I have ever seen
is a human being without compassion.
(H. Milne P.)
Just because you
have a failure,
it does not mean
that you are a failure.
So fail proudly,
I don‘t want to carry gratitude
I want to carry it in my bones,
I want it to rest on my tongue
like it is a language
that I never stop speaking.
Please just walk away from anyone that makes you feel like you are difficult to love. In walking away you will learn how to pour all of the love that you were giving to the wrong person, into yourself.
And you will learn how to pour it into all that you desire in life, you will learn how to pour it into your growth, into your art, into your hope.
You will learn how to stand up to your feeling, how to stand up for its value. And when you teach yourself that you deserve to be loved, without having to beg for that love, you open yourself to that kind of beauty that chooses you just as freely as you choose it. You open yourself to the kind of people who see you and immediately know that you are a rare and beautiful thing.
You open yourself to new beginnings, to a future that unfolds in ways that don’t hurt or break you down, but rather, build you up, and show you just how worthy you are of having your heart held.
In this artificial
fake as fuck world,
the most beautiful,
thing that exists
are those rare moments
of bare naked,
and often disturbing
(J. Warren Welch)
When we’re taught to allow dysfunction,
toxicity, or manipulation in the name of
family and love, we’re more likely to allow
the same in the name of commitment
and romantic love.
When we’re taught to make exceptions
for family, we’re set up to also make
those exceptions in our romantic
It’s learned until we wake up.
“But that’s just how family is.”
“We fight this way because it means we love each other.”
“Blood is thicker than anything else.”
“You give family more chances than anyone else because that’s what family does.”
“You don’t turn your back on family ever.”
“The people closest to you will hurt you.”
The list could go on forever.
We do not have to do anything in the name of family.
We do not have to allow abuse, toxicity, or anything else because “that’s what family does.”
Gosh, we are so quick to point out when people ought to leave unhealthy romantic relationships, but we are just as quick to judge those who want to create space in familial ones.
Feel that and let that sit with you.
What comes up?
What we see and experience is what we learn to allow. It’s what we absorb.
It is until we take a stand to question, explore, and rewrite that which was given to us.
What messages were you told and taught about the exceptions for family?
What did you absorb?
What are you questioning now?
We are able to move towards creating a future of alignment instead of a past that rewrites history over and over again.
That’s the beauty of the work.
It’s hard, with layers and tangled along the way,
but it’s there for all of us.
Life will break you.
Nobody can protect you from that,
and living alone won’t either,
for solitude will also break you
with its yearning.
You have to love. You have to feel.
It is the reason you are here on earth.
You are here to risk your heart.
You are here to be swallowed up.
And when it happens that you are broken,
or betrayed, or left, or hurt,
or death brushes near,
let yourself sit by an apple tree and
listen to the apples falling all around you
in heaps, wasting their sweetness.
Tell yourself that you tasted
as many as you could.
Don’t ever dim your light to match
the darkness that surrounds you.
Distance yourself from those who
feel you are “too much”.
Don’t suppress the magic you have
bubbling beneath the surface
to please those who undervalue you.
The right souls, who appreciate your energy,
will enter your life and make you forget
about those who took you for granted.
Until then, glow as brightly as you can.
Blind those who made you feel less
than special, with your light.
You deserve all the love you,
so willingly, give to others.
What self-limiting beliefs
are you holding on to?
Write down statements
that are opposite to
your self-limiting beliefs
and say them out loud.
(Erica C Fraser)
The path of the spiritual warrior
is not soft and sweet.
It is not artificially blissful
and feigned forgiveness.
It is not fearful of divisiveness.
It is not afraid of its own shadow.
It is not afraid of losing popularity
when it speaks its truth.
It will not beat around the bush
where directedness is required.
It has no regard for vested interests
that cause suffering.
It is benevolent and it is fiery and
it is cuttingly honest in its efforts
to liberate itself and humanity
from the egoic ties that bind.
Shunning strong opinions in the name of
spirituality is actually non-spiritual.
Spirituality that is only floaty soft
is a recipe for disaster, allowing
all manner of manipulation to run amok.
Real spirituality is a quest for truth,
in all its forms.
They're going to tell you
to stay positive.
To emanate good vibes, and
hang on to hope and optimism.
But let me tell you something,
that's not reality to me.
That's not living honestly and
staying true to yourself.
You're going to go
through some things
that absolutely ruin you.
You're going to suffer,
and shed tears,
and wonder how, or why,
you should even continue.
Feel those feelings too,
because the people who've never
had to earn their keep, are rarely
remembered for anything significant.
Go ahead and break down, but do it
with this one simple understanding:
the person that comes from this
will be a little smarter, a little stronger,
a little more prepared, and
a whole hell of a lot more interesting.
5 Things Only Old Souls Will Understand
The point of this article is not to try to exclude certain groups of people from one another or appeal to a certain type of audience.
The point of this article is to provide comfort and a sense of relief to people who get bullied, called names, and judged for not fitting in with the rest of society.
Some people are just old souls and need to be accepted as such.
If you are one of the people that gets called crazy for thinking you can feel people’s energy, or a hermit for needing to have time alone, or a ‘weirdo’ for believing in alternative things, the best thing you can do is continue to be true to yourself.
As an old soul, trying to conform to a society that is hollow and spiritually void will only cause you pain and suffering.
Don’t let authority figures or institutions pressure you into betraying your passions, desires, and natural state of being.
Here are 5 things that only old souls will understand:
1. THE NEED FOR SECLUSION AND ISOLATION
Every old soul knows the extreme importance of taking time away from life, people, and obligation and spending time alone in isolation. Life can be overwhelming at times, and the energies of other people can be exhausting.
Spending time alone in nature, or sitting by yourself on a park bench, or spending all day in your room are things which have become necessary for your spiritual health at times.
Some people may call you a hermit or say that you are socially challenged, but you just know the value of spending time alone to detox, reflect, and nurture yourself.
2. THE DESIRE FOR GROWTH
More than happiness and living comfortably, you want to live a life that encourages growth and expansion.
You value growth and experience so much that you are willing to go through pain, suffering, and depression in order to learn more about yourself.
You take risks and go on adventures that other people may think are unwise, but playing it safe is just too boring for you.
At the end of your journey here on earth, you would love to have experienced a life full of ups and downs, suffering and joy, and amazing adventures as opposed to having experienced a life playing it safe.
3. BEING HIGHLY OBSERVATIONAL AND INTUITIVE
From a young age, you have been able to get a really good read on people. From watching someone interact for just a few minutes, you are able to identify the characteristics that person would have and the lifestyle they live.
It’s almost like you have this software that allows you to look around and download the information on other souls.
This is because you have seen the archetype of that person before in a past life and are familiar with the general behavior and psychology of that archetype.
You have interacted with thousands of people throughout the course of your souls history, so there is really no archetype you haven’t interacted with yet.
This doesn’t mean you are judgmental, it just means you are observational. You may find yourself at parties or social gatherings looking around every once in a while checking things out.
Watching people interact, observing the exchanges of energy that are occurring during conversation.
You may even feel more comfortable as a distant observer than as a participant. It feels natural to you.
Having the ability to get a good read on people has also given you a really good bullshit detector. When someone is lying to you, you know it. You notice the disassociation in their eyes, the shift in their energy field, the change in the way they pronounce words.
You’ve been through this place many times before, so you aren’t socially naive, even though you may have not had much social interaction in this life.
You’ve always been hard to manipulate because you can see into the real intentions and desires of other people. You are just good at feeling people out intuitively.
Some people may call you creepy or think you are a wackjob for trying to be psychic, but it comes naturally to you to pick up on the thoughts and energies of other people.
4. THE REJECTION FOR ANYTHING
Mainstream music is heartless, passionless, and washed up. Mainstream media is polluted, biased, and deceptive.
The mainstream lifestyle is dry, boring, and disappointing. Because you recognize this, you have adopted ‘alternative’ ways of thinking and living that may seen weird to other people.
Personally, I listen to a lot of atmospheric metal and post-rock because it offers me what I desire to receive out of music spiritually and existentially.
I can’t stand the radio.
I remember showing some people the music I liked and having them reply with “that’s not even music”.
I’m sure I’m not alone in knowing what it feels like to feel excluded based on your alternative beliefs, tastes, and preferences.
5. THE APPRECIATION OF THE JOURNEY
You have learned to trust and appreciate the journey. You aren’t trying to be “deep”, you simply can’t help but be overwhelmed at times with feelings of gratitude, thankfulness, and humility.
You understand that life is impermanent and don’t take anything for granted.
Others around you don’t understand why you like spending time in nature so much, why you meditate so often, or why you stare at the stars all the time, but that’s because they are simply too distracted with worldly matters to see the big picture.
If you identify with any or all of these 5 things, then you can be sure that you are either mature beyond your years or you have lived a life or two on this planet in the past.
The vast majority of the human population does not understand these 5 things, and actually takes pleasure in ridiculing and making fun of those who don’t seem to fit in.
You aren’t trying to be different, psychic, intuitive, or deep. Your soul is just hardwired a different way.
Don’t let anybody tell you that you need to change to fit the expectations of the world around you.
The world doesn’t need more carbon copies.
It needs more individuals following the things that
make their souls come alive.
What is Gaslighting?
Inspired by the 1940 and 1944 films “Gas Light,” where a husband systematically manipulates his wife in order to make her feel crazy, the term “Gaslighting” is now commonly used to describe behavior that is inherently manipulative.
Gaslighting, at its core, is a form of emotional abuse that slowly eats away at your ability to make judgments.
Essentially, a Gaslighter spins their negative, harmful or destructive words and actions in their favor, deflecting the blame for their abusive deeds and pointing the finger at you.
This is often done by making you feel “overly sensitive,” “paranoid,” “mentally unstable,” “silly,” “unhinged,” and many other sensations which cause you to doubt yourself.
Tactics Used by the Gaslighter
Gaslighters use a variety of subtle techniques to undermine your reality and portray YOU as the disturbed and messed up one.
These include, for example:
- Discrediting you by making other people think that you’re crazy, irrational or unstable.
- Using a mask of confidence, assertiveness, and/or fake compassion to make you believe that you “have it all wrong.”
Therefore, eventually, you begin to doubt yourself and believe their version of past events.
- Changing the subject. The gaslighter may divert the topic by asking another question, or making a statement usually directed at your thoughts, e.g.
“You’re imagining things - that never happened!”
“No, you’re wrong, you didn’t remember right.”
“Is that another crazy idea you got from your (family member/friend)?”
- Minimizing. By trivializing how you feel and what you think, the gaslighter gains more and more power over you, e.g.
“Why are you being so sensitive?”
“You don’t need to get angry over a little thing like that!”
“I was just joking around, why are you taking things so seriously?”
- Denial and avoidance. By refusing to acknowledge your feelings and thoughts, the gaslighter causes you to doubt yourself more and more.
For example, “I don’t remember that, you must have dreamt it!”
“You’re lying, I never said that.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, you’re changing the subject.”
- Twisting and reframing. When the gaslighter confidently and subtly twists and reframes what was said or done in their favor, they can cause you to second-guess yourself - especially when paired with fake compassion, making you feel as though you are “unstable,” “irrational,” and so forth.
For example, “I didn’t say that, I said _____”
“I didn’t beat you up Johnny, I just gave you a smack around the head - that’s what all good fathers do.”
“If you remember correctly, I was actually trying to help you.”
Why Empaths Often Get Gaslighted
An empath is a person who is highly sensitive to the energy of others. Empaths are known as energy sponges because they absorb the emotional pain around them.
As a result, empaths tend to be highly self-sacrificing in an attempt to make everyone’s lives better.
When it comes to gaslighting, empaths are easy targets because they often struggle to differentiate themselves from their abusers.
In other words, while they are highly intuitive and perceptive people, empaths often lack personal boundaries and struggle to say “no.”
And no boundaries = perfect prey for narcissistic gaslighting techniques!
A very interesting video about“Gaslighting” by Dr. Ramani Durvasula.
Gaslighting doesn’t only happen in intimate relationships.
It is growing exponentially and happens everywhere: in families, in the business world, in the spiritual community, in social media, politics (the Trump Phenomenon is a very good example), and in society in general.
What just happened with our Group in the Insight Timer-App, every time we voiced any complaint or criticism and especially during the last absurd conflict with the CEO, is a typical form of Gaslighting (for more details, see the section “RWYA-Group”).
Gaslighting tactics escalate if you attempt to call the gaslighter out on the lies they are telling.
The gaslighter will react extremely furious and will deny, blame, sow doubt, and add more false claims.
That’s exactly what happened there.
Surround yourself with the dreamers & doers,
the rebels of the status quo,
the troublemakers of the ordinary,
the wonder-seekers, freedom-makers, jail-breakers,
the unreasonable earth-quakers & dust-shakers,
the ones who believe the impossible exists only
to be attempted, the crazies & creative warriors,
the ones who ask why-not instead of why,
the I-can’t-believe-I-fucking-did-it sort of people…
and learn to dance & howl &
re-create your life along with them.
You may be crazy, yes, but you are NOT alone.
So many are going through major growth transitions right now.
Broken dreams, broken hearts, broken contracts, wake up calls, identity crisis etc.
It seems to be a time for major shifting.
It is a time for many to shed old skins that fit too tightly.
With these powerful and growth-full junctures in life, we are called to stretch our comfort levels, to develop courage, will power, faith and trust in what wants to be birthed in our life.
Labour pains are no fun but a soon to be mother looks forward to her baby coming and accepts the pain that she has to go through for that miracle to occur.
If we thought of our own re-birthing in the same way, we'd shift from self induced suffering to expectancy, our willingness would strengthen our courage and ignite understanding so we’d be more likely to take right action...
And though it's never easy, we’d also be more able to accept the loss of attachments and cooperate with the changes that want to take us to the next level.
It's a paradigm shift that is ready to happen.
So when things get tough, consider taking a deep breath and instead of reacting from fear and projections, sit with it, question the motives of change, ask it what it has come to reveal to you, to teach you...
If you are willing to look at yourself and your life objectively, you will know what needs to go, what needs to open and what needs to be birthed….
Once you do this, you can meet the storm as an ally not a curse and you will be able to see the role you played in calling it in...
The lightening will then have a direction, it will burn up the dead wood instead of extinguishing your life force…
But always allow yourself to feel and grieve the pain of loss, allow your heart to be torn open, it’s a necessary and important ingredient in the alchemy...
But keep moving through it so that you can claim the beautiful distillation of heart and soul that is waiting for you at the other side.
This is how your power finds you.
(Caroline de Lisser)
We aren't victims of circumstance,
we are co creators of our own reality.
Self absorbed people may silence you,
by projecting their undesirable traits on to you.
You have power.
You don't have to be a silent sheep.
You can roar like a lion.
Expression is what the narcissist, sociopath,
and the psychopath fear the most
when you start to speak for your self.
When you start to stand up for your self -
you become your greatest version.
YOU are worthy.
YOU have a choice to be around people,
who are nurturing to your being
and help you grow.
Let it all go.
Trust that whatever is meant
for you will stick.
And whatever is not will go.
And in that space…
that beautiful, scary,
empty space… new life
& new plans & new beginnings
& new people will emerge.
5 Things To Do When Big
Feelings Come Up
After years of repeatedly being told to...
Stop crying, stop being scared, don't be silly,
don't be rude, ungrateful, negative,
angry, stop worrying... etc etc
Many of us panic when we feel
We deny it, try to change it, hide it
or desperately try to fix it.
How about we learn another way?
Feelings are natural, they just want
to come up & be felt, it's safe to feel.
Judging a feeling as bad or wrong
usually escalates our discomfort.
Don't panic, you're OK.
Allowing yourself to be seen in
your truth and upholding that standard,
is a sacred act of courage.
Beyond that, it’s a powerful signal
to the universe that you are not
willing to compromise your integrity,
that you are only willing to allow
people and circumstances that
will reflect that standard
back to you.
There are so many
that have forgotten
who they are.
Once they remember
this planet is in for
one hell of an upgrade.
If anyone ever gets in your way
and tells you to not follow your dreams -
be it because of your age, gender,
what you look like or where you
come from - don’t listen.
Do not be burdened by what has been
when you can create what should be.
Telling the truth matters.
Being a good person matters.
There is so much to say that I am nearly speechless.
There is so much to say and yet it also feels like everything I am feeling and thinking can be summed up in just a few words.
There is so much to say because so much hurt has been caused, and because there is still so much work to be done.
There is so much to say because many of us have been waiting for this moment; because so many of us have felt activated by the last four years.
I do not shy away from letting my political beliefs be known, as I believe being a therapist and a professor are both highly political jobs.
I see myself as someone who is in human and healing work, and we can't pretend that the communities, systems, and political structures we are all a part of don't impact our ability to heal and create safety.
Today, the president and vice president-elect were announced. Today, history was made.
Today, many survivors are feeling the impact of a perpetrator being held accountable.
Today, our nervous systems can begin to settle as we know the outcome of an incredibly contentious election.
Today, people will celebrate and cry and yet still feel apprehensive.
People need to be able to celebrate, and cleanse, and purge the feelings they have been holding deep inside.
People need to be able to rest, and restore, and heal from the collective and individual pain they have been carrying.
People need to stay committed, keep using their voices, and work diligently to create change.
Today, there is still so much left to be done, and yet today, this feels like a win.
THE SHIFT IS HAPPENING NOW… ❤️
The proof is in the pudding. One spiritual teacher after another, who will not call out Donald Trump.
They haven't for years, and they won't now.
This does not surprise me.
These so-called holy ones, are more concerned with not losing followers, than standing up for humanity and Mother Earth. COWARDS.
I wrote about the dissociative nature of patriarchal spirituality and the New Cage movement in "Grounded Spirituality".
In it, I deconstruct the origins of a 'love and light' version of spirituality that leads us to anti-masking, Q-Anon, the illusion of enlightenment (while ignoring all threats to humanity), the dishonoring of the divine feminine, the demented elevation of an evildoer like Trump.
In other words, a version of spirituality that leads to the death of our species, and our planet.
It is time for a new spirituality, one that is enrealed, enheartened, embodied, and grounded in our humanness.
One that is fierce and that makes no distinction between our spirituality and our humanness.
Not floating above the suffering of the world, but healing it as a sacred act.
It is TIME for a spirituality that includes every aspect of the human experience in the equation.
It is time for Grounded Spirituality.
It is time for bravery.
I don’t know who needs to hear this
but if you (like me) have been literally
HOLDING YOUR BREATH
for two days straight,
you have radical permission to
literally EXHALE right now.
Those who can make you believe absurdities
can make you commit atrocities.
Caring for the Earth isn’t
some "weird hippie" thing.
It’s more of a badass survival thing.
If we don’t have a healthy planet,
there won’t be a healthy anything.
(Wild Woman Sisterhood)
it’s time to tell the
universe you’re ready
for a new vibration.
don’t see their children
as true individuals but
extensions of their own ego
placed on earth
to serve them.
Often they implement tactics
of invalidation and guilt to make
their children adhere to
what they want.
Learning to validate ourselves and
refusing to accept the guilt
they try to throw our way is
a huge step to healing.
There is no "best" version of yourself.
Only multiple human versions.
All learning. All trying to find their way.
All deserving of compassion and grace.
You don’t have to become some paragon of
non-struggle in order to feel proud of
who you are and deserve good things.
You don’t have to be the "best" anything.
You’re allowed to have moments when
you feel weak and unhinged.
You’re allowed to mess up and backtrack
and have days where you revert to
old patterns that helped you survived.
Struggling doesn’t mean you aren’t
"doing the work". It doesn’t mean
you’re failing or not trying.
It means you’re human.
Maybe your best self is you,
in each moment, doing the best you can
with what you know and what you have.
Maybe your best self is you allowing
yourself to be where you are without
shaming or pressuring yourself to be
somewhere else. Trusting that it doesn’t
necessarily mean you’ll be here forever.
Maybe the real work is you honoring
all the versions of who you are and
who you’re becoming.
Honoring yourself in all your capacities
and emotions, no matter what
they look like.
Knowing that we’re always in flux.
Knowing that there will never be a point
where life magically becomes easy
and we stop struggling. Knowing that
we’re all messy and fallible and still
figuring it out. Knowing that this is
completely normal and okay.
Who you are, right now today,
is deserving of celebration and compassion.
Who you are in this moment is deserving
of good thing and kindness and rest.
Who you are is worthy of taking up space
and being heard and sharing their voice.
Even if you struggle.
Even if you’re still learning.
Even if you aren’t "fully healed".
Even if there are days when
you feel lost and broken.
Who you are,
right now today,
Who you are right now